This past week I received a letter from one friend and an email from another both praising me for what what kind of person they thought I was, one so full of love and light and goodness. I felt like they had this image of me that was so great and so amazing, and yet I myself felt so inadequate, I felt like I was really so weak in so many ways. It's ironic that it is on the mission when you get the most spiritual strength and growth so fast, but at the same time, it is also where you come to realize just how weak and inadequate you really are.
This past week me and my companion were talking to people on the street and we talked to this one man about the purpose of life. I asked "Do you think we have a purpose?"
"No I don't" He replied glumly.
"Well what do you think happens when we die? Do you that is all just the end?" I asked
"Yep that's the end" He said.
"Isn't that sad to you?"
"Yes, but I can't ignore it." He finally said with a tone that expressed the sadness in his way of thinking.
Unfortunately then a crowd of people bustled us and all we were able to leave with him was a flyer and a short testimony that there is more to this life. We walked away and I couldn't help, but feel so sad for him, living life with such a sad gloomy perspective. I yearned for him to know, to understand and feel the light and joy that comes from knowing God's beautiful perfect plan. To know He was loved, that he was valued and he had a beautiful joyful purpose.
There are so many trials in this life I have seen so many trials in my families lives, in those around me and loved ones and others, but that is what makes His Easter gift so beautiful to me. He died for each one of us, for those suffering with disease, or with heartache and pain, guilt and sorrow. And He lived that we may all be healed. Though Him every dark pain can be turned into peace, light and healing.
I was pondering the other night how amazing a gift God has given me of His gospel, the beloved people in my life, this mission I'm on and especially His son, and I couldn't help but be overcome and weep, I tried to express in words how grateful I was, but nothing could come out that would adequately express what I felt. Then I realized that this gratitude was not something I could express in words, it is something I will have to express in a lifetime of action of being a disciple of Christ and I am so grateful that I get to show him my thanks, forever.
Pictures: 4 member kids that live in our same apartment building
Us feeding ducks with Shin Chan, Our recent converts grandson
Man I love kids!